Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
