Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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