Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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