Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize