if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
