For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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