Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
