Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
