How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
