she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
