i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend