I would go down on you faster than GM stock
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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