is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell