I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?