So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
