Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.