how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dating After Heartbreak
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.