He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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