All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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