CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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