Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
