dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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