How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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