sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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