taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
