oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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