I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
