JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
