Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
