Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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