My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
