so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
