I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
