I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
