But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
