hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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