I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
