brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
