could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
