At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
