i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i out mim tonsoeep
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