i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
