I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
