I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize