Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
