So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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