I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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