So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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