Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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