soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
