no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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