All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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