You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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