i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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