I heard we made out
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
