We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
