Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
