Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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