I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
