i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Found the puke drawer
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
