im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
how drunk are you?
Several
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
