you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize