First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
