just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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