I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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