I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
